“I'm a writer. I write checks. Mostly fiction.”

“I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that sh...”

“I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.”

“My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.”

“Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.”

“I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know that?”

“If a man whistles at you, don't turn around. You are a lady not a dog.”

“I heard the man and woman cry a warning as I frantically racked my brain for some sort of throat-repairing spell, which I was clearly about to need. Of course the only words that I actually managed...”

“I am a believer in free will. If my dog chooses to hate the whole human race except myself, it must be free to do so.”

“This is how the girl who couldn't speak and the man who couldn't see fell in love.”

“The world has been blind in the presence of artificial lights.They blame about the darkness in broad daylight.”

“WHO AM I?I have seven heavenly panelsLeading up to a pointed sphereIm multidimensional like a crystalAnd my center is never clear.Im an inventor and pioneer.A mentor to my peers.But I'm not as soun...”

“I have never been carried around by a large boy, or laughed until my stomach hurt at the dinner table, or listened to the clamor of a hundred people all talking at once. Peace is restrained; this i...”

“If I should get lost in all the chaos of the world, pull your butterly net and catch me in the beauty of your love. Remind me of important things -- friends, flowers, fields of cool grass under bar...”

“Make no attachment, so you can flow freely.”