“If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.”

“Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.”

“My parents were kind of over protective people. Me and my sister had to play in the backyard all the time. They bought us bikes for Christmas but wouldn't let us ride in the street, we had to ride ...”

“Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.”

“You only think of the best comeback when you leave.”

“Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, 'Thank you?'”

“work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life counted on it, because in fact everything in life does count on it.”

“Happiness [is] only real when shared”

“That's what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable.”

“They came to her, naturally, since she was a woman, all day long with this and that; one wanting this, another that; the children were growing up; she often felt she was nothing but a sponge sopped...”

“And not only that, I also have the MacBook Air which is really cool. Even my wife is jealous of my MacBook Air.”

“I'm incredibly competitive in all sports in a way that is so mystifying to my wife because she grew up playing the violin and piano. I've always been like that.”

“In the summer I wear shorts with a bright top and ankle boots or just sandals. I'll add a nice scarf, maybe a hat, some cool sunglasses. It's all about the accessories.”

“Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be.”

“Summer movies are spectacles that's what you pay 10 dollars to see. You want to get teased by effects sometimes. I think that will never stop. ”