“I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.”

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”

“Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.”

“Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.”

“I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.”

“As regards intellectual work it remains a fact, indeed, that great decisions in the realm of thought and momentous discoveries and solutions of problems are only possible to an individual, working ...”

“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, andin spite of True Romance magazineswe shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do no...”

“I never really understood the word loneliness. As far as I was concerned, I was in an orgy with the sky and the ocean, and with nature.”

“Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.”

“Night is certainly more novel and less profane than day.”

“I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”

“No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.”

“I refused David Letterman's proposal of marriage for obvious reasons, but thanks for asking.”

“Why would I retire? Sit at home and watch TV? No thanks. I'd rather be out playing.”