“I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.”

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”

“Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.”

“Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.”

“I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.”

“What if the door you love is locked and cannot be open? The answer is very simple: Find another door!”

“If you lock the door on sorrow,how will it leave your heart?”

“ , , , . , . . ., ... ? ..? ..”

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”

“How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live 'em. How much love...”

“He drew a circle that shut me out-Heretic , rebel, a thing to flout.But love and I had the wit to win:We drew a circle and took him In !From the poem " Outwitted”

“He loves to hide, but only if you take the time to find him. And while I suspect that's true for most people, only a retard or a kid would admit it.”

“Personally, I was never the cool kid. I was always sort of a bookworm.”

“I was a sports kid.”