“As I drove out the wrought iron gates I had entered, I noticed for the first time how intricate and beautiful they were. They were forged by hand so many years ago and had stood the test of time.”

“Do you remember the time, Mike, Jeremy laughed, that you put a banana down your pants and walked up to the Palma-nator. It looked like you had one hell of a hard-on.”

“The sight washed over me like a damn wave that you never see coming until its too late and youre face down eating sand.”

“The pimple is perfect.”

“Ill pray for good semen. And Ill get all of my friends to pray for good semen.”

“You deserve good sperm. Youve waited a long time.”

“We are all children of one God and the only thing that separates us is our ego”

“You smoked another cigarette and we shared another coffee and it was just another morning that made me realise that this is all it takes to be happy.”

“The truth is I do love you. Admitting that means opening myself up to all that pain when you leave. After you realize this wasnt love, but gratitude.”