“Men are mystifying creatures. For instance why do all men think their penis is a panacea for all the worlds problems?”

“I suppose youre young, she conceded, managing once again to make youth sound like impetigo”

“The Classic Notting Hill junkie, i.e; Armani underwear, Pinks shirt and Burberry belt tourniquets”

“I had walked all over the fragile bloom of his heart like a Boadicea in Blahniks”

“Clamboring over building detritus was not the lifestyle Karl Lagerfeld had in mind for this sweet little powder-blue suit. As he oversaw the hand stitching in his atelier he had probably imagined t...”

“The Duke is worried you lack the fitness to walk up Bond Street. Youre generation lacks the drive.”

“I'll never wake up in a good mood again.I'm tired of these stinky boots”

“Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?”

“Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance.”

“And marbled clouds go scudding byThe many-steepled London sky.”

“I wander through each chartered street,Near where the chartered Thames does flow;A mark in every face I meet,Marks of weakness, marks of woe.In every cry of every man,In every infants cry of fear,I...”

“On Waterloo Bridge where we said our goodbyes,the weather conditions bring tears to my eyes.I wipe them away with a black woolly gloveAnd try not to notice I've fallen in loveOn Waterloo Bridge I a...”

“Being a traditionalist, I'm a rabid sucker for Christmas. In July, I'm already worried that there are only 146 shopping days left.”