“This book was written using 100% recycled words.”

“Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.”

“Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.”

“Someone has to do it. It's all very well calling for eye of newt, but do you mean Common, Spotted or Great Crested? Which eye, anyway? Will tapioca do just as well? If we substitute egg white will ...”

“It is true that words have power, and one of the things they are able to do is get out of someones mouth before the speaker has the chance to stop them.”

“Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Lad...”

“What greater gift than the love of a cat.”

“After all, a woman who doesn't love cats is never going to be make a man happy.”

“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”