“This book was written using 100% recycled words.”

“Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.”

“Someone has to do it. It's all very well calling for eye of newt, but do you mean Common, Spotted or Great Crested? Which eye, anyway? Will tapioca do just as well? If we substitute egg white will ...”

“It is true that words have power, and one of the things they are able to do is get out of someones mouth before the speaker has the chance to stop them.”

“Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Lad...”

“Destiny was funny stuff, he knew. You couldnt trust it. Often you couldnt even see it. Just when you knew you had it cornered, it turned out to be something elsecoincidence, maybe, or providence. Y...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”