“As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.”

“If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.”

“Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be in command if I were the only remaining person.What do you know? Im in command”

“I'm calling it the Watney Triangle because after what I've been through, shit on Mars should be named after me.”

“Log Entry: SOL 118My conversation with NASA about the Water Reclaimer was boring and riddled with technical details. So I'll paraphrase for you:Me: "This is obviously a clog. How about I take it ap...”

“How did I end up in this situation? I'm the district sales manager of a napkin factor. Why is my daughter in space?”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Also, I'll lose half a liter of water per day to breathing until the humidity in the Hab reaches its maximum and water starts condensing on every surface. Then I'll be licking the walls. Yay.”

“I'm so close to Schiaparelli I can taste it. I guess it would taste like sand, mostly, but that's not the point.”

“If democracy and self-rule are the fundamentals, then why should people give up these rights when they enter their workplace? In politics we fight like tigers for freedom, for the right to elect ou...”

“NASA are idiots. They want to send canned primates to Mars!" Manfred swallows a mouthful of beer, aggressively plonks his glass on the table: "Mars is just dumb mass at the bottom of a gravity well...”