“My mother had not acted for ten years. Not since a reviewer wrote that her portrayal of Lady Macbeth put him in mind of an exasperated society hostess burdened with unmannerly guests who had lost t...”

“Despite centuries of English literature, the most famous split infinitive in all of history comes from Star Trek.”

“You're stubborn- anyone ever tell you that before?”

“Wouldn't want to miss a war, would I?”

“In some ways blowjobs are better than sex because when you have a mouthful of cock you can't make snide comments.”