“Don't write to sell, write to tell.”

“Believe in human beings - not all are good, but deep down all can be. But that doesn't mean you need to hang around crappy people and try to turn them around.”

“Be the kind of person who catches the shit before it hits the fan, not the one who scrapes it off afterwards.”

“Make life easier by living in the present and believing in the future.”

“If you appreciate the small things, you're likely to get the big ones.”

“Stay humble as a writer: write on toilet paper.”

“There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

“It's better to be loved than feared, but if you can't be loved, then fear will do.-Dino quoting Machiavelli”

“Something bad was about to happen. My wife was being clever again.”

“I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”