“You know...acting like a dick...won't make yours any bigger.”

“Kiss me one last time Skye... before I die. I want to enter heaven with the taste of you on my lips.”

“He kicked my ass, but he also treated me like a person and not just some girl.”

“Is this bitch crazy? I don't want to 'accidentally' drown”

“I took a deep breath and sighed in awe. My proverbial penis had just gotten a serious chubby.”

“At least I could tell she wouldn't try to kill me in my sleep now.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Innocent? Tell me human, who among you is innocent? Who among you has not destroyed without need or hurt without pity? Should a lion ponder his role in thinning the herds? Does he question whether ...”

“As we pass the mirror in the bedroom, my attention is drawn to the lovely couple in the reflection. There is a man, tall with broad shoulders. His red hair cut short. He has nothing but a towel on....”

“Good evening and good night.”