“All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.”

“If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. ”

“I'll never know the right answer for sex and marriage, sense and mirage.”

“Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.”

“Hundreds of hysterical persons must confuse these phenomena with messages from the beyond and take their glory to the bishop rather than the eye doctor.”

“Art the one achievement of man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”