“In the meantime, I had to get dressed and go to work, because going to work in my pajamas was apparently the definition of unprofessional. Cookie's words. I looked it up though. She was wrong. Webs...”

“After a long, labored sigh, I said, She was really happy when I got there. Im pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.You do have that effect on people.”

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt”

“My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.I pointed to my right breast. This is Danger. Then my left. And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them according...”

“I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.”

“After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much.”

“I was always a dreamer, in childhood especially. People thought I was a little strange.”

“Let me wake up next to you, have coffee in the morning and wander through the city with your hand in mine, and I'll be happy for the rest of my fucked up little life.”

“Prayer is like coffee for my soul in the morning”

“I'm not everyone's cup of tea, because I'm a kick butt cappuccino with extra milk fluff and chocolate sprinkles!”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”