“Wisdom is the reward for a lifetime of listening when you would have preferred to talk.”

“A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!”

“Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.”

“Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.”

“Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.”

“The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.”

“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“Hard work should be rewarded by good food.”

“Prsente je vous fuis; absente, je vous trouve;Dans le fond des forts votre image me suit”

“Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.”

“The only French word I know is oui, which means yes, and only recently did I learn its spelled o-u-i and not w-e-e.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”