“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”

“He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.”

“Oh. I see. People don't want to see what can't possibly exist.”

“History isn't like that. History unravels gently, like an old sweater. It has been patched and darned many times, reknitted to suit different people, shoved in a box under the sink of censorship to...”

“How do you get all those coins?" asked Mort.IN PAIRS.”

“Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.”

“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“Hard work should be rewarded by good food.”