“I like pink."Lucius sniffed. "It's just red's sorry, weak cousin.”

“As you wish, of course." Lucius lowered the volume on an old record player, which spun a warped vinyl disk that wailed unfamiliar music, scratchy and whiny, like cats fighting. Or a coffin with rus...”

“Stupid Romanian bloodsucker. He was lucky I hadn't bestowed another exalted scar on his imperial body.”

“As you know, I have always been curious about our immortality... how it feels to live on and on through time....I need speculate no longer, I have sampled eternity in Miss Campbell's fifth period "...”

“Why do humans always look at these things from the wrong perspective? Predators deserve our sympathy, too.”

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.”

“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“Hard work should be rewarded by good food.”