“Sure we could replace war with paintball battles. But it would escalate to paint grenades, paint bombs, weapons of mass paint. I dont want to live in a world where my kids have to worry about what ...”

“In geometry, whenever we had to find the area of a circle, pi * radius squared, I would get really hungry for pie. Square pie.”

“Dolphins and sharks are natural enemies. Dolphins are like, "Quit eating us," and sharks are like, "Stop smiling all the time, you morons.”

“Theres no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbors yard.”

“There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard.”

“Anyone who is willing to work and is serious about it will certainly find a job. Only you must not go to the man who tells you this, for he has no job to offer and doesn't know anyone who knows of ...”

“Choose your counsel, company and companions wisely: beware seeking wise words of advice from a fool or expecting informed opinions or decisions from the ignorant.”

“If you find it difficult to get along with your boss, try to reason with him and talk through your differences. If that doesn't work, drive him to suicide and take over the company.”

“There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

“People LOVE change (when it's about changing others). People HATE change (when it's about changing themselves).”

“If you want an incredibly passionate, happy, ALIVE businessdont overcomplicate things. Once all is said and done, the foundational elements of a successful business are very simple: respect, servic...”

“It's called entrepreneurSHIP, not entrepreneurSIT. Don't wait. Just ship.”