“Having sex multiple times on the first sleepover does not count as more than one date”

“Carpe Scrotum. Seize life by the testicles”

“Wouldnt you rather play chess, Maam?....Its less destructive of clothes.”

“Wouldn’t you rather play chess, Ma’am?....It’s less destructive of clothes.”

“Listen carefully. I'd crush you like a bug for causing my wife one single moment of pain. Believe it. Fear it. ”

“Eve: What is it about asking you Catholic questions that gets you all jumpy?Roarke: You'd be jumpy, too, if I asked you things that make you feel the hot breath of hell at your back.Eve: You're not...”

“Roarke: The bodies of the three men were found floating in the Chattahoochee River.Eve: I think it'd be embarrassing to be dead in the Hoochie-Coochie River.Roarke: ChattahoocheeEve: What's the dif...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”