MAKING THE LIE MAKE SENSE:When denial (his or ours) can no longer hold and we finally have to admit to ourselves that weve been lied to, we search frantically for ways to keep it from disrupting our lives. So we rationalize. We find good reasons to justify his lying, just as he almost always accompanies his confessions with good reasons for his lies. He tells us he only lied because. We tell ourselves he only lied because. We make excuses for him: The lying wasnt significant/Everybody lies/Hes only human/I have no right to judge him.Allowing the lies to register in our consciousness means having to make room for any number of frightening possibilities: Hes not the man I thought he was. The relationship has spun out of control and I dont know what to do The relationship may be over. Most women will do almost anything to avoid having to face these truths. Even if we yell and scream at him when we discover that hes lied to us, once the dust settles, most of us will opt for the comforting territory of rationalization. In fact, many of us are willing to rewire our senses, short-circuit our instincts and intelligence, and accept the seductive comfort of self-delusion.
