This is the list you carry in your pocket, of the things you plan to say to Kay, when you find him, if you find him:1. Im sorry that I forgot to water your ferns while you were away that time.2. When you said that I reminded you of your mother, was that a good thing?3. I never really liked your friends all that much.4. None of my friends ever really liked you.5. Do you remember when the cat ran away, and I cried and cried and made you put up posters, and she never came back? I wasnt crying because she didnt come back. I was crying because Id taken her to the woods, and I was scared shed come back and tell you what Id done, but I guess a wolf got her, or something. She never liked me anyway.6. I never liked your mother.7. After you left, I didnt water your plants on purpose. Theyre all dead.8. Goodbye.9. Were you ever really in love with me?10. Was I good in bed, or just average?11. What exactly did you mean, when you said that it was fine that I had put on a little weight, that you thought I was even more beautiful, that I should go ahead and eat as much as I wanted, but when I weighed myself on the bathroom scale, I was exactly the same weight as before, I hadnt gained a single pound?12. So all those times, Im being honest here, every single time, and anyway I dont care if you dont believe me, I faked every orgasm you ever thought I had. Women can do that, you know. You never made me come, not even once.13. So maybe Im an idiot, but I used to be in love with you.14. I slept with some guy, I didnt mean to, it just kind of happened. Is that how it was with you? Not that Im making any apologies, or that Id accept yours, I just want to know.15. My feet hurt, and its all your fault.16. I mean it this time, goodbye.