“I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.”

“If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.”

“Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff ...”

“Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.”

“There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious.”

“God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.”

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

“If I am going to be drownedif I am going to be drownedif I am going to be drowned, why, in the name of the seven mad gods who rule the sea, was I allowed to come thus far and contemplate sand and t...”

“I'm an Earth ecstatic, and my creed is simple: All life is sacred, life loves life, and we are capable of improving our behavior toward one another. As basic as that is, for me it's also tonic and ...”