“The reason why women think men should spend a lot of money on an engagement ring is because women are the ones who get to clean up all the poop (stains and toilet bowl swirls included) that is prov...”

“I would love to be on a Real Housewives from somewhere reality show. Then I could show all those women how the rest of our society gets to do it.”

“I believe that sexual offenders and predators should be releasedas long as it is mandatory they get to move into the house next door to the judge that released them.”

“Congress should make it so that all sex scenes in all films should be provided with a screaming baby sound track. That should help take away all the fun and may show a major decrease in unwanted pr...”

“Women who say that they have met the most amazing guy in the world are only saying that because they havent lived with them yet.”

“Some people that are in charge are usually less intelligent than the people who work under them. The reason why those people are in charge and you arent is because you have a conscience.”

“We're all to driven by materialism. Obsessed with success. With money. With trying to impress people who'll never be impressed.”

“Can we account for instinct?' said Monte Cristo. 'Are there not some places where we seem to breathe sadness? why, we cannot tell. It is a chain of recollections an idea which carries you back to...”

“She let out a laugh, and then she put her hand over her mouth, like she was angry at herself for forgetting her sadness.”

“If you don't learn to laugh at life it'll surely kill you, that I know.”

“Through all of living have much joy and laughter, life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.”

“When man will return to nature, nature will return to him.”

“The sky is an enormous man.”

“When the full-grown poet came,Out spake pleased Nature (the round impassive globe, with all its shows of day and night,) saying, He is mine;But out spake too the Soul of man, proud, jealous and unr...”