23 quotes found
Humorist · American · 1911–1980
American humorist (1911–1980)
“If you want to kill time try working it to death.”
“Don't watch the clock do what it does. Keep going.”
“Don't watch the clock do what it does. Keep going. ”
“Insanity is hereditary you get it from your children.”
“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through ...”
“Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others.”
“Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.”
“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”
“The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.”
“Love at first sight is easy to understand it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. ”
“Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.”
“It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'”
“If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.”
“Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is we'll find it.”
“One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your imagination.”
“Love at first sight is easy to understand it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.”
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”
“I like life. It's something to do. Somewhere on this globe every 10 seconds there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.”
“Insanity is hereditary - you can get it from your children.”