Quotes by Jerome K. Jerome

“Really, seeing the amount we give in charity, the wonder is there are any poor left. It is a comfort that there are. What should we do without them? Our fur-clad little girls! our jolly, red-faced ...”

“It is so pleasant to come across people more stupid than ourselves. We love them at once for being so.”

“If he didn`t want his opinion,why did he ask for it?”

“He does love prophesying a misfortune, does the average British ghost. Send him out to prognosticate trouble to somebody, and he is happy. Let him force his way into a peaceful home, and turn the w...”

“After breakfast the host takes the young man into a corner, and explains to him that what he saw was the ghost of a lady who had been murdered in that very bed, or who had murdered somebody else th...”

“Love is like the measles we all have to go through it. ”

“We drink one another's health and spoil our own.”

“It is in our faults and failings, not in our virtues, that we touch each other, and find sympathy. It is in our follies that we are one.”

“What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise.”

“I can see the humorous side of things and enjoy the fun when it comes; but look where I will, there seems to me always more sadness than joy in life.”

“If you are foolish enough to be contented, don't show it, but grumble with the rest; and if you can do with a little, ask for a great deal. Because if you don't you won't get any.”

“There is this advantage about German beer: it does not make a man drunk as the word drunk is understood in England. There is nothing objectionable about him; he is simply tired. He does not want to...”

“There are various methods by which you may achieve ignominy and shame. By murdering a large and respected family in cold blood and afterward depositing their bodies in the water companies' reservoi...”

“It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.”

“It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. I love to keep it by me: the idea of getting rid of it nearly breaks my heart.”

“Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs.”

“Let your boat of life be light packed only with what you need-a homely home and simple pleasures one or two friends worth the name someone to love and to love you a cat a dog enough to eat an...”

“Idleness like kisses to be sweet must be stolen.”

“It is easy enough to say that poverty is no crime. No if it were men wouldn't be ashamed of it. It's a blunder though and is punished as such.”

“I want a house that has got over all its troubles I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.”