Quotes by Jay Leno

“Hillary says she has been tested. Well, I hope so. You never know what Bill might bring home.”

“And as you know, this whole Hillary e-mail scandal brought Anthony Wiener back into the news. Now here's a question nobody has asked. Anthony Wiener is Jewish, right? Right? So does this scandal ma...”

“The economy is so bad, two Milwaukee men were arrested this week for trying to join ISIS. Did you hear their excuse, they said, Hey! Nobody else is hiring! THAT'S how bad it is!”

“The economy is so bad, I saw Matthew McConaughey talking to himself in a Kia! THAT'S how bad it is!”

“Well, there's nothing funnier to me than the French. The French Resistance is probably the biggest mythical joke that ever existed. There were four guys in the French Resistance. They couldn't hand...”

“French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly.”

“This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That's like a record.”

“Congratulations to the Italian people for winning the World Cup. … They won after France’s best player got ejected for head butting. That’s the closest anyone in a French uniform has come to combat...”

“In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.”

“Racecar driving is a lot like sex; all men think they're good at it.”