213 quotes found
“Alice? You didnt get this far without realizing that you dont have to cheat to win. You just have to accept that people are easily manipulated.”
“Once the principals in their party are seated, with those lower on the totem pole left to grumble and move on to find another table, our once-cozy booth transforms into a damp fusion of vacuous wre...”
“No thanksDodo, was it? I dont know if I can watch you have performance problems twice in ten days.”
“Suddenly, the giant, three-headed dog that guards the entrance to the Underworld appears next to hersans two of its headsand sits down. As a child, we had a neighbor with a Great Dane, and I know t...”
“For the first time, theres no barrier between us and we make eye contact. All of a sudden, I feel like the character in Raiders of the Lost Arkthe one who watches in horror as the wispy, beautiful ...”
“Ill get you and your little dog too? You say your girl cant pay me back? Believe me when I say that that little gifts just gonna keep right on giving.”
“Alice, it took big, dumb Talon Dodo thirty seconds to get you so pissed about a poker hand pun that you were about to beat him to death with your cane.”
“The car doesnt so much drive as float above the road, like were making our way to Sydney in a hovercraft.”
“When some smart ass asks you if youre driving, you say, 'Nope, just kicking the tires. You have to make sure you actually kick them all on your way around to the passenger side. Otherwise its like ...”
“If one more person tells me how big this country is, Im going to go kick a koala.”
“How was I supposed to know lucked out means I got screwed over in Australian?”
“Yeah, well, when they say You know its a long way, dont you? what they really mean is: You know itd be faster if you just rode a kangaroo, dont you?”
“...once I realized that Australias top highway speed of 110 kilometers per hour was the same as going 65 in the U.S., all my hardened American enthusiasm for speed went limp until it felt like the ...”
“Congratulations, Mousey, youve managed to insult every marsupial in the country in just under three kilometers.”
“I dont know what this is for anyway. I mean, let me tell you what Im never going to say to any human being, ever: I had hunting season off-suit in the pocket, but I've had kicker trouble with that ...”
“Seriously, what is the purpose? Maybe Id feel better about walking around speaking fluent jive if I knew there was a reason for it.”
“I like it because when people use a lot of poker lingo, it usually means theyve been playing the game for a while. Which is why I immediately avoid those people.”
“So fatal only kills you two out of three times these days? Thats good to know.”
“Australians are descended from a boatload of English convicts, right? So two hundred years in isolation at the bottom of the planet is plenty of time for the language to evolve into some sort of do...”
“Im good at being vague and unpredictable. Its sort of a hard habit to break.”
