Quotes by David Sedaris

127 quotes found

Humorist and author · American · 1956

American humorist and author (born 1956)

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Common Themes

“But instead I am applying for a job as an elf. Even worse than applying is the very real possibility that I will not be hired, that I couldn't even find work as an elf. That's when you know you're ...”

— David Sedaris

humorous

“I hate computers. My hatred is entrenched, and I nourish it daily. I’m comfortable with it, and no community outreach program will change my mind. I hate computers for getting their own section in ...”

— David Sedaris

computers hate

“All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.”

— David Sedaris

identity individuality

“The thought of killing myself had slowed me down to five miles per hour. The thought of killing someone else stopped me completely.”

— David Sedaris

cyclops memoir naked sedaris

“I would later discover it was a bad idea to gather more than two of these people in an enclosed area for any length of time. The stage was not only a physical place but also a state of mind, and th...”

— David Sedaris

actors aspiring-actors drama

“If some people are “outed,” are other people “inned”? Can we say that someone has been “besided” or “overed”?”

— David Sedaris

gay inned outed

“It’s not lost on me that I’m so busy recording life, I don’t have time to really live it.”

— David Sedaris

journaling photography