70 quotes found
Comedian · American · 1961–1994
American comedian (1961–1994)
“I want my rockstars dead.”
“Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.”
“All governments are lying cocksuckers.”
“They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer”
“Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.”
“Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.”
“The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all tho...”
“They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do just as well you just realize that it's not worth the fucking eff...”
“I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.”
“I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, "My God! I love everything." Yeah, now...”
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.”
“We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.”
“Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um they're no longer relevant. We're...”
“Go back to bed, America. Your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control again. Here. Here's American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up. ...”
“People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the plane...”
“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as deat...”
“Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take in...”
“The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions”
“I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.”
“The idea of getting a, you know, syringe full of heroin and shooting it in the vein under my cock right now seems like almost a productive act.”
“I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming i...”
“I'm sorry if any of you are catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're catholic”
“I was in Nashville, Tennessee last year. After the show I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, I was hungry. And I'm alone, I'm eating and I'm reading a book, right? Waitress walks over to ...”