“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.”

“One of the extraordinary things about life is the sort of places it's prepared to put up with living.”

“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.”

“The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.”

“I think we have different value systems." Arthur"Well mine's better." Ford”

“Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things ...”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”