“The elf was armed with a bow, a sword, and an overwhelming sense of his own importance.”

“He ate with all the restraint of a nymphomaniac at an orgy.”

“A golden dragon. Splendid. My life expectancy has just become shorter than a gnomes todger.”

“If I wanted a life of chastity Id live with my wife.”

“You can’t fight if you’re drunk,” she n”

“If I wanted a life of chastity I’d live with my wife.”

“Sibyl, what do you want?I want to live, the Sibyl said, and her voice rang rich and full. I want to keep on living forever and watching heroes and fools and knights go up and down, into the world a...”

“When God is driven to the periphery of the public square, the human spiritual capacity longs for exercise, and it often finds it in the suspension of disbelief and activity of the imagination that ...”

“When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it.”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”