Miss Dearheart gave him a very brief look, and shook her head. There was movement under the table, a small fleshy kind of noise and the drunk suddenly bent forward, colour draining from his face. Probably only he and Moist heard Miss Dearheart purr: What is sticking in your foot is a Mitzy Pretty Lucretia four-inch heel, the most dangerous footwear in the world. Considered as pounds per square inch, its like being trodden on by a very pointy elephant. Now, I know what youre thinking: youre thinking, Could she press it all the way through to the floor? And, you know, Im not sure about that myself. The sole of your boot might give me a bit of trouble, but nothing else will. But thats not the worrying part. The worrying part is that I was forced practically at knifepoint to take ballet lessons as a child, which means I can kick like a mule; you are sitting in front of me; and I have another shoe . Good, I can see you have worked that out. Im going to withdraw the heel now.There was a small pop from under the table. With great care the man stood up, turned and, without a backward glance, lurched unsteadily away.Can I bother you? said Moist. Miss Dearheart nodded, and he sat down, with his legs crossed. He was only a drunk, he ventured.Yes, men say that sort of thing, said Miss Dearheart.
About This Quote
About Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
Terry Pratchett, Going Postal.
Themes
- Humor — Witty observations and humorous takes on everyday life