In fact, in recent years I have become more and more didactic about pubic hair - to the point where I now believe that there are only four things a grown, modern woman should have: a pair of yellow shoes (they unexpectedly go with everything), a friend who will come and post bail at 4 a.m., a fail-safe pie recipe, and a proper muff. A big, hairy minge. A lovely furry moof that looks - when she sits, naked - as if she has a marmoset sitting in her lap. A tame marmoset, that she can send of to pickpocket things, should she so need it - like that trained monkey in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

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About Caitlin Moran

Caitlin Moran was a contemporary English writer. Catherine Elizabeth Moran is an English journalist, broadcaster, and author at The Times, where she writes two columns a week: one for the Saturday Magazine, and the satirical Friday column "Celebrity Watch". Read more on Wikipedia →

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