“Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasnt he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamsters cage was clean, Id be happy to oblige.”

“The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.”

“Cooking wasnt so bad, I thought. In fact, it was a lot like sex. Sometimes it didnt seem like such a good idea in the beginning, but then after you got into it ”

“work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life counted on it, because in fact everything in life does count on it.”

“Happiness [is] only real when shared”

“That's what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable.”