“A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.”

“And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.”

“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.”

“If you want to be seen, stand up.If you want to be heard, speak up.If you want to be appreciated, shut up.”

“gray hair is gods graffiti”

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”