“There was an old hen And she had a wooden leg And every damned morning She laid another egg She was the best damned chicken On the whole damned farm - And another little drink Wouldn't do us any...”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”