“Men are mystifying creatures. For instance why do all men think their penis is a panacea for all the worlds problems?”

“I suppose youre young, she conceded, managing once again to make youth sound like impetigo”

“The Classic Notting Hill junkie, i.e; Armani underwear, Pinks shirt and Burberry belt tourniquets”

“I had walked all over the fragile bloom of his heart like a Boadicea in Blahniks”

“Clamboring over building detritus was not the lifestyle Karl Lagerfeld had in mind for this sweet little powder-blue suit. As he oversaw the hand stitching in his atelier he had probably imagined t...”

“The Duke is worried you lack the fitness to walk up Bond Street. Youre generation lacks the drive.”

“Jesus Christ, it's like living with Stevie bloody Nicks,' I said, 'only without the cocaine, which would be more fun.”

“There was a thing called Heaven; but all the same they used to drink enormous quantities of alcohol."..."There was a thing called the soul and a thing called immortality."..."But they used to take ...”

“Happiness is my drug of choice.”

“I'll never wake up in a good mood again.I'm tired of these stinky boots”

“Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?”

“Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance.”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”