“Judge me if you must, but keep in mind how very little pleasure I could have possibly derived from a one-thrust sex session, a quickie in a closet, and a come-free drunken hookup. If anything, you ...”

“Lesson learned: If a guy tells you you’re his second choice, don’t make him your first.”

“Lesson learned: Don’t ever put a guy up on a pedestal. It’s too easy for him to tip over and fall off.”

“In an attempt to help me move on from my failed marriage, my mom set me up with Jesus Freak. In fact, the stoner hadn’t even finished moving out when she told me not to worry, because she already h...”

“The Lush hadn’t driven in almost a decade - ever since she got in an accident that shook her so badly she refused to get behind the wheel. As you can imagine, someone nicknamed The Lush wouldn’t ma...”

“To me, the words “food” and “guilt” didn’t belong in the same sentence unless, say, you were referring to how you felt about the starving children in Africa.”

“Ya got cigarettes? she asks. Yes, I say,I got cigarettes. Matches? she asks.Enough to burn Rome. Whiskey?Enough whiskey for a Mississippi River of pain. You drunk? Not yet.”

“For one more time, he decided to give away smoking.And then, she happened one more time in his head.”

“Interesting" people were her favorite hobby. She collected them: the type who did gay things late at night and smoked cigarettes in mixed company, those would have most scandalized her own mother.”

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever.”

“To pursue kingdom understanding of what makes its lifestyle work on earth ask specific kingdom questions”

“[T]he world we live in is governed by the most revolting bunch of crooks ever to defile the soil of this planet... [You] must never take them seriously, which is exactly what they want.”

“Success is a lifestyle.”