“One day, back when I working at a video store, a woman accompanied by her two small sons walked up the counter with a tape box displaying a man slicing off someones head with a chainsaw. Does this ...”

“Sure, I'd like a child of my own. I'd also like a laser pistol, that doesn't mean someone should give me one.”

“Whatever I havent accomplished biologically obviously wasn't all that imperative.”

“My parents would not permit ugly language in the house, which was okay with me. I didn't want to learn German anyway.”

“Most people thought he was insane when he looked up into the sky with a simple handmade telescope and cried out that the Earth revolves around the Sun, because this was four years ago.”

“There are many ways to roll with the punches. Still, its probably best to avoid people who punch you.”

“Anyone who is willing to work and is serious about it will certainly find a job. Only you must not go to the man who tells you this, for he has no job to offer and doesn't know anyone who knows of ...”

“Choose your counsel, company and companions wisely: beware seeking wise words of advice from a fool or expecting informed opinions or decisions from the ignorant.”

“If you find it difficult to get along with your boss, try to reason with him and talk through your differences. If that doesn't work, drive him to suicide and take over the company.”

“Violence is a disease, a disease that corrupts all who use it regardless of the cause.”

“A weapon does not decide whether or not to kill. A weapon is a manifestation of a decision that has already been made.”

“Extreme violence has a way of preventing us from seeing the interests it serves.”