“If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”

“Witches are naturally nosy, said Miss Tick, standing up. Well, I must go. I hope we shall meet again. I will give you some free advice, though.Will it cost me anything?What? I just said it was free...”

“And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built in to the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us...”

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”

“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”

“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”

“The Barbarian hopes and that is the mark of him, that he can have his cake and eat it too.He will consume what civilization has slowly produced after generations of selection and effort, but he wi...”

“No enemies had ever taken Ankh-Morpork. Well technically they had, quite often; the city welcomed free-spending barbarian invaders, but somehow the puzzled raiders found, after a few days, that the...”

“[O]ne person's 'barbarian' is another person's 'just doing what everybody else is doing.”

“There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”

“Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight!”

“The world rides through space on the back of a turtle. This is one of the great ancient world myths, found wherever men and turtles were gathered together; the four elephants were an Indo-European ...”