“The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother's advice about honesty being the best policy. Listen to your cool, drunk uncle who tells you to lie. Those are th...”

“I think making friends is not being afraid to look stupid, because everyone wants a friend who is willing to be stupid and fun. If you try and be too cool, it only works in high school. After that,...”

“My parents are very cool and wildly supportive - maybe almost too much. I want to tell them to chill out.”

“I did telemarketing for years, starting at the age of 16, just selling steak knives to old people. Old people go through a weird amount of steak knives. I also sold straight meat over the telephone.”

“Jealousy is the worst trait in any person.”

“When I was a teenager, I was an umpire for a competitive league for 8- to 9-year-olds. I was really bad at it because I didn't know all the rules, and all these kids were better athletes than me. I...”

“You see, in this country are a number of youths who do not like to work, and the college is an excellent place for them.”

“Sometimes the gap between what you are and what you want to be is a little piece of paper called your college degree. So jump.”

“I only want to write. And there's no college for that except life.”

“Follow your dreams. Just make sure to have fun too.”

“I want to show everyone that if you pursue your dreams, they can come true no matter what. That's what I want to do.”

“When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed.”

“A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession.”

“In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?”

“Do not work primarily for money; do your duty to patients first and let the money follow; our life is short, we don't live twice; the whirlwind will pick up the leaves and spin them, but then it wi...”