“I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.”

“I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to...”

“Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?”

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”

“I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.”

“I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.”

“Does God get what God wants?Thats a good question. An interesting question. And its an important question that has given us much to discuss. But theres a better question. One that we actually can a...”

“Nobody fights over the opinion of which book is better. So why do we fight over which religion is better, if they're all based on books? Let us read and learn from them all and unite in our differe...”

“How many races have been dehumanized in the name of evolution and scientific race theories? Is a bomb a religious or a scientific invention?”