“I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.”

“I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to...”

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”

“I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.”

“I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.”

“I am thankful that all the people in the world who absolutely, positively, know what God wants, usually kill mostly each other.”

“Neither should we forget the mean, which at the present day is lost sight of in perverted forms of government; for many practices which appear to be democratical are the ruin of democracies, and ma...”

“School should be the best party in town”

“Every nation has its war party... It is commercial, imperialistic, ruthless. It tolerates no opposition.”

“I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.”

“When I was a kid and my mom made tomato soup, she would cut buttered toast into squares and float them on top of each bowl.”

“If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.”