“I have no respect for gangs today. None. They just drive by and shoot people. At least in the old days like in West Side Story the gangs used to dance with each other.”

“My mother always said that every time you do a good deed here on Earth you're storing up a treasure in heaven. Which means Mother Teresa's probably got some beachfront property up there and I'm up...”

“I have a hard time believing that billions of years ago two protozoa bumped into each other under a volcanic cesspool and evolved into Cindy Crawford.”

“My mother always said that every time you do a good deed here on Earth you're storing up a treasure in heaven. Which means Mother Teresa's probably got some beachfront property up there and I'm up ...”

“After fifteen years of marriage my wife wants us to recommit our vows. As a man I don't understand her need to get married again. We've got our toaster let's move on.”

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that youve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you sa...”

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there i...”

“If we could survive without a wife, citizens of Rome, all of us would do without that nuisance; but since nature has so decreed that we cannot manage comfortably with them, nor live in any way with...”

“When we are at peace within our marriage, the effects can be astounding! We will raise happier children, become better employees, and overall find the joy in life.”

“Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.”