“I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.”

“It pays to get drunk with the best people.”

“I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.”

“I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.”

“The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.”

“There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.”

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

“If I am going to be drownedif I am going to be drownedif I am going to be drowned, why, in the name of the seven mad gods who rule the sea, was I allowed to come thus far and contemplate sand and t...”

“I'm an Earth ecstatic, and my creed is simple: All life is sacred, life loves life, and we are capable of improving our behavior toward one another. As basic as that is, for me it's also tonic and ...”