“Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”

“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”

“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”

“Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'A wise man and his money are soon parted'? ...”

“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending and to have the two as close together as possible. ”

“Like almost all girls I don't know the date of my birth: my parents did not trouble to record the day and the time. I only know the year and the season, and I only know the season because my mother...”

“Birthday is a sacred-life celebration.”

“But I get it; it's a way to mark time. When your life's too busy, it forces you to check in with yourself. Or when it feels all the same all the time, maybe it can make you feel special.”

“The land of easy mathematics where he who works adds up and he who retires subtracts.”

“At the age of 45, most days in Tucson were spent feeling like I was on the summit of Mauna Kea, as I was exhibiting debilitating health symptoms that corresponded to what I saw at very high altitud...”

“The hour is only long thus, if you've waited.”