“Man. Being mostly dead is hard on a guy.”

“I had this teacher who kept telling me that if I was ever in a fair fight, someone had made a mistake, she said”

“I kept a straight face while my inner Neanderthal spluttered and then went on a mental rampage through a hypothetical produce section, knocking over shelves and spattering fruit everywhere in sheer...”

“Maybe this was a male-female translation problem. I read an article once that said that when women have a conversation, they're communicating on five levels. They follow the conversation that they'...”

“...when women have a conversation, they're communicating on five levels. They follow the conversation that they're actually having, the conversation that is specifically being avoided, the tone bei...”

“Honest. It's almost always best to go with honest. It means you never have to worry about getting your story straight.”

“Magic. It can get a guy killed.”

“Magic. It can get a guy killed.”

“I like to think of it less as embezzling and more as an involuntary goodwill contribution.”

“No matter what gifts you have, practice is the only way to get better at anything."If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery it would not seem so wonderful at all - Michael Angelo”

“You're gorgeous, you old hag, and if I could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this. Confidence. It would be the gift of confidence. Either that or a scented candle”

“Time is a precious gift.”