“Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper.”

“Better bend than break.”

“Open confession is good for the soul.”

“Fools look to tomorrow wise men use tonight.”

“Give and take makes good friends.”

“Friends are lost by calling often and calling seldom.”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”