“If this is a dream, may we never wake up!”

“Don't be afraid! Hold my hand and let's jump off that cliff together. ”

“Momentary happiness is worse than permanent misery.”

“I have to convince myself every night that I love you before I go to sleep lest I wake up empty.”

“Without purpose, we're zombies aimlessly roaming the earth.”

“Once upon a time, I wish I had sneezed. The end.”

“The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism.”

“I'm sitting in front of the TV, watching Jerry Springer, and it makes me think of how many mad people there are in the world, and whether everyone is mad deep down, they just pretend they're not, a...”

“This is a good place," he said."There's a lot of liquor," I agreed.”

“You can find a better you inside of you. Why dont you search for that?”

“Do not fear to give yourself a chance that will change you for the better.”

“He explained that often times it's the love of something- like money, material, possessions, or power-and the fear of losing them, that command people to act. That love and fear are really the only...”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”