“Part of me felt deep compassion. And another part felt like, You fucker.”

“I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely bec...”

“I want to feel calm and at ease. Like someone who lives in Half Moon Bay, California, and makes hummus from scratch. Instead, I feel like I'm a contestant on some awful supermarket game show where ...”

“His eyes are so clear and blue that nothing but clichs enter my mind.”

“His laugh is made of porch swings and lemonade.”

“Why am I so anxious? And then it hits me. I'm not anxious, I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling r...”

“The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism.”

“I'm sitting in front of the TV, watching Jerry Springer, and it makes me think of how many mad people there are in the world, and whether everyone is mad deep down, they just pretend they're not, a...”

“This is a good place," he said."There's a lot of liquor," I agreed.”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”